Life doesn't always go as planned. When the outcome isn't what you expected, you may experience a sense of grief, anger, fear, or loss. Over the next two weeks, Silent Unity will present a question each day to help transform these thoughts into a more positive outlook. As we begin our journey, please join us in affirming: Today I choose a fresh perspective. I see possibility instead of limitation. I see hope instead of despair. I choose thoughts that build a better world.

Who or What Am I Blaming?

By Wendy Craig-Purcell
Excerpted from Ask Yourself This!

Who or what am I blaming?

Examining where we place blame reveals the level of our personal growth. It is easy to blame other people or circumstances—but your life does not happen to you; it happens through you. Your thoughts, actions, and choices create your life experience. Realizing that you are responsible for the quality of your life is the cornerstone of personal and spiritual growth.

Mary and Bill had been married for 50 years and were celebrating their golden anniversary at a special party in their honor. Bill lifted his glass to toast Mary, saying, “Mary, I’ve been thinking about how you’ve been by my side all these years through thick and thin. When we almost lost the farm because of the drought, you were right there. Then when I took that bad fall on the ice and broke my hip, you were right there beside me again. When we lost most of our savings in that bad investment, there you were … right beside me. And you know, Mary, I’ve been thinking about it … you must be really bad luck!”

Bill doesn’t quite get it, does he? It’s much more appealing to blame others than to take responsibility. While the thought of taking full responsibility for everything in your life (both positive and negative) can be sobering, accepting it is immensely empowering. Blaming someone or something for the condition of your life may free you of responsibility, but it also means you are powerless to change it. In blaming others, you give up the power to change your life. This doesn’t mean we should blame ourselves instead of others. It simply means we recognize the power within us and channel it for good. Taking responsibility allows us to take charge of our lives.

For those of us who have not yet realized our ability to create our life experience, this is an epiphany. The leap from thinking life is happening to me to knowing life is happening through me and by me is a life-changing leap. Asking yourself, “Who or what am I blaming?” will help you make that leap, move you out of victimhood, and prepare you for tremendous personal growth.