What Do You Want to Find?

By Rev. Lori Woodley

Do you have a “wish list” for what you would like to find in the world? Would you like to experience respect? Possibly your list would include care or companionship? Empathy, understanding or being heard?

Would you like to know how to manifest your wish list?

I encourage you to take a moment now and write your list. Possibly five qualities that you would like to find in the world.

Do you have your list?

Great, I want to begin by sharing how I finally figured this out.

Several months ago, I was contemplating how I could inspire others to want to learn the skills of listening, understanding and empathy. I was curious if there was a way I could explain these skills that would inspire others. I want to live in a world where we experience each other in deeper ways, I also would enjoy more understanding and empathy myself. I find it rare in my world.

What happened? I received an answer, a totally unexpected one.

My daughter, (Lena, 8 years old) wanted me to give her my phone. I responded that I first wanted to call a friend that had just gotten out of the hospital, and then I would give her the phone. I heard her sigh, and then I heard a loud breathing from her. I felt myself become tense as I thought to myself “Oh no, she is going to have a tantrum.” I continued to listen, and then became curious as to what she was doing. As I looked over I noticed that she was sitting with her eyes closed simply breathing. She had settled into a rhythm with her breathing. Within a few moments she opened her eyes and looked at me.

I asked her what she had been doing. She said it was something she does when she gets mad, that it helps her feel better.

Inside I was jumping for joy. I recognized her doing what I call “returning to presence in the mist of conflict” and it is a powerful tool. I never told my daughter how to do this, yet I practice it frequently. I realized in that moment the power of how I actually live my life.

I began to realize that if I want understanding, my best chance of finding it is how I live my life. What I want will manifest from my actions and who I am.

My daughter taking a moment to calm herself met my desires for respect, cooperation, ease and the list goes on.

Back to your list. Do you want respect? Are you willing to model behaviors that meet your need for respect, and then consider the results of your actions? Do you want understanding? When was the last time someone listened to you long enough to understand what you were actually saying? Would you be willing to listen to someone else, and see what happens?

When you live your life from what you hope to find in the world, then you co-create what you want to find in the world.

Co-create what you desire!

Lori Woodley is a Unity Minister and founder of Peace Matters, an alternative ministry devoted to helping people connect to themselves and others. Lori teaches Nonviolent Communication (NVC) classes and retreats and is a Unity certified Peacemaking and Transitional Consultant.