"This illness does not lead to death; rather it is for God's glory, so that the Son of Man may be glorified through it" (John 11:4).
I live with chronic illness. I'm trying to look at this in a different way.
I can only imagine how challenging it must be to live with chronic illness. What Jesus is saying here is that we have the ability, as the Christ, to use any of our life experiences as opportunities to make loving, creative choices. I'm reminded of St. Paul, who suffered from illness and physical challenges as he continued his spiritual work.
We have moved in consciousness away from the old idea that illness is a punishment from God. We're moving away from the equally judgmental idea that illness is solely a result of our own thoughts. It's true that the idea of illness exists in our collective consciousness, but it's also true that we aren't always able to change collective consciousness single-handedly. Jesus doesn't tell Lazarus to heal himself; he honors his experience and stays several extra days to be in support. And, of course, when Lazarus succumbs to his illness, Jesus returns to demonstrate the illusion that death truly is.
I affirm that your illness serves a creative spiritual purpose, and that you have completed that purpose and are ready and willing to release illness and enjoy perfect health.