A Deeper Understanding of Gratitude

I believe in the power of gratitude to help transform difficult, even dire circumstances. I believe a daily gratitude practice can help heal and prosper lives. I believe feeling grateful is the key to abundant living. So I was surprised when I found myself struggling to write about it this year.

Several weeks ago, I shared about the destructive flood from a burst water pipe my husband and I experienced over the summer. The restoration and repair process has dragged on for four long months. Even though the ordeal is now nearing completion, it has been frustrating, uncomfortable, stressful, and inconvenient.

I’ve received caring gestures and words of compassion and commiseration from friends, the expertise and helpfulness of the professionals who have been working on our place, and the knowledge we will move back into a house with brand-new flooring. There’s a lot to be grateful for, and yet …

I’ve been feeling grumpy. Cranky. Glum. And I’ve been a little hard on myself for not being more upbeat and optimistic. I tried doubling down on gratitude to try to lift myself out of my malaise, relentlessly reminding myself of how blessed I am, how the inconveniences are almost over, and how so much in my life is right instead of wrong.

The dour feelings persisted. I took a closer look to see what I was missing and soon discovered where I went wrong. I was so determined to buoy myself by being grateful, I was denying the fullness of my feelings and judging myself harshly for not being as sunny as I thought I should have been.

Grateful in All Things

Most of us have likely had the experience of a run of bad breaks or a persistent stressful experience. Many, too, have used spiritual tools—affirmations, prayer, and a gratitude practice—to get through those times. But I wonder how many do what I did—be so adamant about being positive and feeling grateful that I wasn’t willing to make room for the pain and distress that came with my more troubling experiences?

Recently, I felt drawn to revisit 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I love that verse, but I realized over the last few weeks I was using it to hold myself to a standard I was not able to meet.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves the grace to go through whatever we need to go through. A sour mood, a fit of anxious worry, even a modicum of self-pity can give us the space and freedom to feel and ultimately release what troubles us so we can once again return to positivity and feeling grateful for our blessings.

I helped myself by giving the apostle Paul’s sage words a gentle reimagining: Rejoice as much as your heart allows. If you’re struggling to know the truth for yourself, seek prayer support, and give thanks while honoring the fullness of your feelings.

This new understanding could bring an infusion of grace to gratitude. When we give thanks with an open heart of self-compassion, we are giving ourselves room to grow in gratitude for blessings great and small throughout all the seasons of life.

This was a Daily Word editor’s letter. To subscribe to Daily Word, please visit https://shop.unityonline.org/subscribe.