Love Is in the Air

I’ll be flying east for a wedding later this week. The last time I made this trip four years ago, it was for a funeral. Both times, the reason for the trip was to support my friend David.

David lost his husband to illness in June 2019. David had tended to Steve through his various treatments and gradual decline. When we gathered for the funeral, I was sad, of course, but I also couldn’t shake the thought that David was being cheated, that someone who had celebrated his wedding only a few years before now had to bury his spouse.

David and I spoke often during the early days of his bereavement as he adjusted to life as a widower. He shared his grief with me and his circle of family and friends. He also processed his loss by participating in grief groups. Time passed. David started dating again, and it wasn’t long before he was in love. And now he’s getting remarried.

I’m tempted to look at David’s experience the last few years and simplify it by thinking he lost love and found it again. But by watching how David processed his changes, I understand it differently now. He may have lost his husband, but he didn’t lose his love. Throughout the low points, the blue periods, and the deep grief, David kept his heart open. He felt his feelings and leaned on the support of family and friends. He stayed interested in life and didn’t put limits on how his future might unfold. Mostly, though, through the power of spiritual living, he maintained his perspective that his worldly experience was part of his life, not all of it. He knew that even though Steve’s body had died, his soul was set free.

“I’m proud of the way my friend stayed present to all of it—the pain of his loss, the uncertainty about his future, the disorienting feeling when devastating change is so sudden—with an accepting and willing heart.”

Accepting Life, Opening to Love

Life is full of changes—from the ones we welcome to the ones we wish we could resist and the ones we pray won’t come to pass. Accepting changes as they come and staying open to life is how we can keep love alive and experience the fullness of its healing and renewing power.

My friend demonstrated this powerfully. I watched David’s life change in the most profound way. I’m proud of the way he stayed present to all of it—the pain of his loss, the uncertainty about his future, the disorienting feeling when devastating change is so sudden—with an accepting and willing heart.

Now he’s in love again, and the wedding is in a few days. And just as it has done so many times before, love did what love does—heal the heart that remains soft and open. Divine love was with David throughout the journey from love to loss to love again. Love was constant, present in the tears, the smiles, the sorrow, and the joy.

Four years ago, I cried at the funeral. I suspect this weekend I’ll tear up at the wedding too. The circumstances may be different, but the love will be the same.