The Sacred Work of Speaking with Dignity

What if we could find a way to talk to each other about our differences—political or religious, global or local, at work or home—with respect and understanding? Over the last year, I’ve had the privilege of learning more about an organization called The Dignity Index. Based in Utah, this organization is doing powerful work across the country—in government, education, workplaces, and soon faith communities and beyond—to help people remember how to treat one another with dignity, compassion, and genuine understanding.

“We do not have to agree with one another to treat each other with dignity. Kindness is not conditional. Respect does not require consensus.”

Like many of you, I find myself heartbroken and often bewildered by how deeply divided our country has become. It can feel surreal to witness how quickly common decency has eroded, replaced by name-calling, “othering,” and, in some cases, an outright disdain for people who look, think, act, or even love differently. And let’s be honest—this isn’t confined to one political party or religious ideology. It’s happening on all sides of the divide.

This division is no longer abstract. It’s showing up in families around dinner tables, among coworkers in break rooms, between friends, neighbors, and faith communities. What I’ve been reminded of through my participation with The Dignity Index is something both simple and profound: We do not have to agree with one another to treat each other with dignity. Kindness is not conditional. Respect does not require consensus.

Every Person Has Innate Worth

As I’ve learned more about The Dignity Index, I’ve been especially moved by the truth at the core of their teachings—that every person has innate worth. Every human being deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, simply because they are human. This belief aligns deeply with Unity teachings.

In Unity, we affirm that every person is born with a spark of the Divine. Each of us carries inherent value. Every single person deserves to be seen, valued, and heard. This is not just a nice idea—it is spiritual Truth.

How We Communicate

One of the most compelling aspects of The Dignity Index is its focus on how we communicate. They have developed a scale that helps us recognize whether our words and attitudes are rooted in dignity or contempt ranging from 1 to 8, with contempt at the bottom and dignity at the top. Lower scores (1–4) reflect language that divides, dehumanizes, or dismisses. Higher scores (5–8) reflect communication grounded in respect, curiosity, and shared humanity. One approach draws us together. The other pushes us further apart.

As an example, Level One expresses contempt through violent words and the suggestion of violent actions. Level one language might look like, “They’re not even human. It’s our moral duty to destroy them before they destroy us.”

As you move up the scale toward dignity, the language changes. An example of Level Three language would be, “We’re the good people, and they’re the bad people. It’s us vs. them.” Still not respectful, but less dangerous than Level One.

Level Five language begins to see another’s point of view. “They have a right to be here and to be heard. They belong here too.” At the top of the scale is where you’ll find the most respectful language and ideas. “I can see myself in every human being. I refuse to hate anyone. I treat everyone with dignity no matter what.”

Last fall, I attended a three-day Dignity Index gathering in Salt Lake City. Those days were filled with deep conversations, interactive experiences, and powerful stories. I heard from government leaders and individuals who have facilitated global peace talks about the importance of respectful communication. Later there was a forum with faith leaders from varied denominations around the country—many serving congregations deeply divided even within the same church community. Despite their differences, they all shared a common desire: to cool the waters, to heal the fractures, and to help our citizens remember how to speak to one another with humanity. I left feeling deeply inspired and hopeful.

Practicing Speaking with Dignity

And then, almost immediately, I was given an unexpected opportunity to put these ideas into practice. On my ride to the airport, my Uber driver asked why I was in town. I shared about The Dignity Index and my desire to learn how to communicate more respectfully and see others as worthy, regardless of differences. Almost instantly, I felt him bristle. He began making assumptions about my beliefs and political affiliation. But instead of reacting defensively, I paused.

I told him that whether we agree politically or religiously was not the point of my training. I shared that I believe he is fully entitled to his beliefs—just as I am to mine. And that the heart of my experience that weekend was learning how to listen, not to argue or persuade, but to truly understand where another person is coming from.

So, we talked. I listened. He shared his views. I didn’t react. And something subtle but meaningful shifted. When he realized that I wasn’t going to attack or dismiss him, he softened. He began asking me questions and listening. What could have become an uncomfortable or tense ride instead turned into a civil human exchange. We didn’t solve the world’s problems in those few minutes, but we communicated respectfully. And that mattered.

That short ride has stayed with me. It reminded me that dignity and respect are not abstract ideals—they are choices we can make in any moment, with anyone. Simply pausing and listening with an open heart, and choosing kindness over reaction, can transform an exchange. And in a world so hungry for healing, those small moments of dignity matter more than we may ever know.