Bright Lights: Chip Conley Helps Redefine Midlife

In August 2008, Chip Conley finished a speech tied to his 2007 book Peak, sat down to sign books, and collapsed. Over the next 90 minutes, he flatlined nine times, experiencing a near-death event that reshaped his life. 

At the time, Conley was already navigating profound personal turmoil. Between 2008 and 2010, he lost five close friends to suicide. Overwhelmed by grief and the pressures of the Great Recession, he had even prayed for an external force—an illness or accident—to end his downward spiral. Instead, his near-death experience became his reckoning. 

“It was transformative to feel what it’s like on the other side, but it also dramatically changed how I curated my life,” recalls Conley, who explains that an allergic reaction to an antibiotic had likely caused the episode.  

“I made a bunch of decisions that had been hard for me to make but that were right,” he notes. Those decisions were seismic: He stepped away from Joie de Vivre, the boutique hotel company he had founded and led for 24 years; reconnected with his longtime partner, Oren Bronstein; and committed himself to helping his foster son get out of prison. 

“More than anything, I knew I needed curiosity and fun in my life,” Conley says. “Things I used to have but had lost.”

Airbnb’s ‘Modern Elder’ 

In 2010, Conley sold a majority stake in Joie de Vivre to an investment group. In 2013, at 52, he joined Airbnb as a strategic advisor and mentor to its young founders. Cofounder Brian Chesky invited him to be their “modern elder”—someone who is as curious as they are wise. 

“I had to right-size my ego and let go of my identity as a CEO,” Conley says. “I went from being the sage on the stage to the guide on the side.” Embracing the dual role of mentor and mentee, Conley helped to foster a culture of mutual learning.  

“Curiosity and respect were foundational to our relationship,” he says. “That’s why it worked. Brian could have had the hubris to say, ‘I don’t need to learn from you,’ and I could have been the arrogant boomer spouting war stories. Instead, we met each other with curiosity, and that made all the difference.” 

Over seven and a half years, Conley helped shape Airbnb’s culture and strategy while absorbing lessons from the younger generation—an experience that laid the foundation for his next venture. 

Building a New Stage for Midlife Growth

In 2017, while running along the beach near his home in Baja California, Conley had a vision: What if midlife had a wisdom school? He saw a gap in societal support for people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s—a phase rich with potential but often met with uncertainty. That vision became the Modern Elder Academy (MEA), the world’s first midlife wisdom school.

“We help people navigate midlife transitions, cultivate purpose, own their wisdom, and reframe their mindset on aging,” Conley explains. 

MEA’s immersive workshops and retreats provide a unique blend of personal development, community building, and practical tools for midlife reinvention. The curriculum draws from psychology, neuroscience, and social science, offering participants a space to explore what’s next—with intention.

“It’s like an Outward Bound for the midlife mind,” Conley says. “People leave feeling more connected, more self-aware, and more empowered to create a fulfilling second half of life.” 

Since MEA’s founding in 2018, more than 7,000 people from 60 countries have graduated. Today, MEA operates campuses in Baja California and Santa Fe, New Mexico, offering both in-person and online programs.  

Conley remains deeply involved, teaching and mentoring students while stepping back from the CEO role to focus on his passion for writing and thought leadership. His latest book, The Midlife Manifesto, which he self-published in 2025, expands on his belief that midlife is not a crisis but a “chrysalis”—a time of transformation.

“Seeing people come in feeling stuck and leave with a renewed sense of possibility—that’s the most rewarding part,” he says of his work at MEA. “Midlife can be the most creative, fulfilling time of our lives if we let it.” 

Viewing aging positively can also add seven and a half years to our lifespan, he adds, citing a study by Yale psychologist Becca Levy, Ph.D.  

A Childhood of Expectation

Born on Halloween in 1960, Conley grew up in Long Beach, California, the firstborn of two Stanford-educated parents. His father, a Marine captain turned real estate executive, had a clear vision for his son’s future—a vision Conley initially followed.  

“I was a chip off the old block,” he says. “Same high school, same sports, same college. But over time, I realized I didn’t have to be my dad.” 

At 22, Conley came out as gay, which was difficult for his father, particularly during the early years of the AIDS crisis in the 1980s. Still, Conley forged his own path, blending his innate creativity with his business acumen to launch Joie de Vivre in San Francisco at 26. 

Lessons From Cancer

As Conley reflects on his journey from entrepreneur to modern elder to midlife mentor, he sees every experience, including his struggles, as a teacher. Even his ongoing battle with prostate cancer—diagnosed at Stage 1 in 2018 (the same year he founded MEA) and now at Stage 3—has been a lesson.  

“I don’t think of it as a war,” he says. “Instead, I ask, ‘What am I supposed to learn from this?’”  

Through cancer, he has learned to slow down, ask for help, and prioritize relationships.  

“Cancer has forced me to listen to my body in a way I never did before,” Conley says. “It’s teaching me patience, presence, and the importance of making every moment meaningful.”

He has also become more intentional about his role at MEA, shifting from leadership to mentorship so he can focus on the work that brings him the most joy. 

“If I have only three or five years left to live—I think I have a lot more than that, but if that’s all I have—how do I leave it all on the floor, as they say in basketball? How do I live a full life? And a full life isn’t just accomplishments—it’s relationships and experiences too.” 

A Legacy of Love

For Conley, relationships are what matters most.  

“I am what survives me,” he says, quoting the late psychoanalyst and developmental psychologist Erik Erikson. “For me, that means the relationships I build and the lives I touch.” 

That’s evident in his roles as father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. In addition to his adult foster son, Conley has two biological sons (ages 13 and 10), two foster grandchildren, and a great-grandson. He cherishes the opportunity to guide and support them.  

“I love the Zen of being with children,” he says. “You lose track of your own ego and just experience pure joy. Being able to share love, wisdom, and encouragement with them is one of the greatest gifts of my life.” 

Conley hopes people remember him not for his accomplishments but “as someone who created love for a living; someone who helped people see their own value, wisdom, and potential. That’s the true measure of a life well lived.” 

This article appeared in the July/August 2025 issue of Spirituality & Health^®: A Unity Publication. Subscribe now.