How Yoga Became My Spiritual Anchor in Time of Turmoil

I was on the cusp of a major life shift. My 15-year marriage was ending, and I was at the beginning of the transition, moving away from what I knew as my life to something unknown. I did not choose divorce; the choice was made for me. However, I knew my response would chart my path forward. I could respond with grace and optimism, or defeat and self-destruction. I chose grace.

Everything started on a Thursday morning in the fall of 2015. I received a phone call, out of the blue, with the shocking news. It felt as if I had been punched in the gut. I was floating in time, unsure what to do next. I called work and said I would not be in today. I took my son to school and came home and sat on the steps in my house while my mind flew in a thousand directions. What was my next move? I heard my inner voice say, Find a yoga class.

Learning to Breathe

Within a couple of hours, I was on my mat and in a safe space where I could let my emotions unfold. I remember moving through the poses slowly and taking long pauses to cry. I was not an experienced yogi, but I knew yoga was good for me. The first lesson in yoga is the breath, and I needed to learn how to breathe. It was the beginning of a long journey of healing and self-discovery.

The first year of my divorce, I was in survival mode. There were good days and not-so-good days, and they were unpredictable. Yoga became my go-to self-care tool. I always felt better after yoga class. It also taught me to listen to my body. What did I need in that moment when I was on my mat? Did I need to challenge myself or simply rest in child’s pose? I started to practice yoga more regularly. I looked for outdoor classes, pop-up yoga events, and online classes so I could practice at home. A habit was forming. A connection between my body and spirit formed. Yoga was more than a physical activity that kept my body in motion; it was a spiritual tool for self-discovery, and it sparked a light in my soul.

What started out as listening to my body grew into listening to my soul. I had to slow down long enough to hear the wisdom I was supposed to receive, and yoga invited me to slow down.

Yoga as a Tool for Self-Discovery

The practice of yoga is filled with ancient wisdom. As I worked each day to hold myself together, I was also learning about yoga and stumbled upon svadhyaya, which means self-study. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, a well-known manuscript for those studying yoga, has a verse that says, “Study thyself, discover the Divine.” Through the practice of yoga throughout many years, I began to pay more attention to my thoughts, words, and how I behaved. I was becoming self-aware. What started out as listening to my body grew into listening to my soul.

I had to slow down long enough to hear the wisdom I was supposed to receive, and yoga invited me to slow down. I was committed to my healing. I went on a yoga retreat in Guatemala, took several solo road trips across the country, started to meditate at home, and built a relationship with myself that had not existed before. There was a divine light inside me, and yoga helped me make that connection.

Almost eight years have passed, and I am a new person. What started as a healing journey evolved into a spiritual one. Because I chose grace during a difficult time in my life, I was open to all the good that came my way. I am now the happiest I have ever been.

I am forever grateful that my inner voice pointed me to a yoga class on the day my life was falling apart. I did not know at the time, but my life had to fall apart so I could put it back together in a way that was sustainable for me. By honoring that voice, I now have a spiritual tool that I can employ with calm confidence whenever I need divine guidance, or when life punches me in the gut.