Psalm 39

I said, ‘I will guard my ways

   that I may not sin with my tongue;
I will keep a muzzle on my mouth
   as long as the wicked are in my presence.’ 
I was silent and still;
   I held my peace to no avail;
my distress grew worse, 
   my heart became hot within me.
While I mused, the fire burned;
   then I spoke with my tongue: 

‘Lord, let me know my end,
   and what is the measure of my days;
   let me know how fleeting my life is. 
You have made my days a few handbreadths,
   and my lifetime is as nothing in your sight.
Surely everyone stands as a mere breath. 
          Selah 
   Surely everyone goes about like a shadow.
Surely for nothing they are in turmoil;
   they heap up, and do not know who will gather. 

‘And now, O Lord, what do I wait for?
   My hope is in you. 
Deliver me from all my transgressions.
   Do not make me the scorn of the fool. 
I am silent; I do not open my mouth,
   for it is you who have done it. 
Remove your stroke from me;
   I am worn down by the blows of your hand. 

‘You chastise mortals
   in punishment for sin,
consuming like a moth what is dear to them;
   surely everyone is a mere breath. 
          Selah

‘Hear my prayer, O Lord,
   and give ear to my cry;
   do not hold your peace at my tears.
For I am your passing guest,
   an alien, like all my forebears. 
Turn your gaze away from me, that I may smile again,
   before I depart and am no more.’

Question:

I am transitioning into middle age. Also, I'm raising a young child while caring for an elderly parent. I just want to be able to control what I can and accept what I have no control over.

Comment:

The 39th Psalm is basically a prayer for healing that seeks to find a balance between acceptance of what is and a desire for something more. The psalmist first affirms that he has been suffering in silence; he has not been complaining aloud so that no one can use his illness as proof that God does not hear our prayers. Here in private, however, he feels free to call out in his distress.

He acknowledges that every man's life is short, and no one knows when his end will come. "Surely everyone stands as a mere breath!" (v.6). And he recognizes that his illness and, perhaps, death are up to God, and may well be the result of his former actions. His final plea is twofold: give me a little more time, and give me freedom from suffering so that I may enjoy the time I have.

So the psalm contains a realization that our suffering and challenges are the result of choices we have made or beliefs we are choosing to hold. The psalmist also realizes that all mortal issues can be transformed by the Lord, the divine Presence we truly are. We surrender to our challenges—not in defeat, but rather in a quiet realization that while our ego mind struggles are futile, the spiritual being we truly are is not limited in any way.

Blessings!

Rev. Ed