Matthew 18:21 "The Peter came and said to him, 'Lord, if another member of the church sins...'"

"Then Peter came and said to him, 'Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy times seven’" (Matthew 18:21).

Question:

I want to forgive but certain wounds are so painful that it's difficult for me to even revisit those moments in my life. How do I approach forgiveness?
 

Comment:

Forgiveness is, first and foremost, a choice we make for ourselves. It may or may not involve another person. If it does, that person may or may not ever know that we have forgiven him/her. At heart, forgiveness is an inside job. We must free ourselves from the negative, poisonous effects of our resentments so that we can continue to embrace and express our spiritual power. We cannot be creative expressions of the infinite Power and Love of God and victims of other people at the same time. We have to choose.   We may still hold others accountable for their actions and choices, but not out of an energy of anger, resentment and vengeance. We may choose not to continue or resume relationships that have proved painful and destructive, but not out of fear or judgment. As spiritual beings, we cannot be damaged by others—we are whole and complete always. Within this human experience, however, we have a right—really an obligation—to make loving choices that will allow us to preserve our spiritual awareness and priorities. As Jesus makes clear in the parable that follows this verse, we ourselves are forgiven many times over by the Power of God. That is, the consequences of negative choices are dissolved as we become aware and willing to make new choices. All that is asked is that we allow that same energy of forgiveness to flow through us and into the world around us. The servant in the parable, forgiven a huge debt by his master, refused in turn to forgive the debt of another servant who owed him very little. That kind of choice has painful consequences; it blocks us from the flow of love that allows life to express easily and joyfully.   Blessings!

Rev. Ed