Contemplating Healing: Right Where I Am
Accepting the reality of your present situation, then embracing spiritual practices and community support, is crucial on the journey to healing.
In March of 2020 I received a diagnosis of early-stage vocal cord cancer.
Over the prior six-month period, my voice had become increasingly hoarse, until I couldn’t even make myself heard across a table in a restaurant. A trip to the doctor led to a specialist, a biopsy, the diagnosis, and a treatment plan for six weeks of focused radiation.
As much of America and indeed the world went into lockdown in response to the Covid-19 pandemic, I began my healing journey. The first few weeks were a fog of numbness and fear, an overload of medical information and doctors.
Because of the lockdown, I felt alone, confined to my home, interacting with family, work, and friends only online or by phone. My usual prayer and centering practices felt hollow and empty, and my thoughts began to spiral downward.
Gradually, I was able to embrace the idea: This is happening to me and how I respond to it has an impact on how it unfolds.
I was pretty hard on myself too. I am a minister in a spiritual movement with its roots in healing, yet I was feeling hopeless and afraid at times. My work involves designing, creating, and compiling inspirational content for Unity, and my well was dry, with inspiration hard to find.
One morning in April, as I was looking for material for a Unity prayer service, I came across “Your Healing Is at Hand” by Rev. Mary L. Kupferle. I read it and then read it again. It was as if she were speaking to me, her affirmative, declarative words finally piercing my fog of numbness and fear.
In the weeks leading to my radiation treatment, I began to read the article each morning during my quiet time and each evening before bed. At different times, depending on how I was feeling, different ideas and passages resonated with me.
“Regardless of where you are physically or how far you seem emotionally from the peace you desire, your good—your healing … is at hand,” she wrote.
Gradually, I was able to embrace the idea: This is happening to me and how I respond to it has an impact on how it unfolds. I didn’t need to censor my feelings; I needed to feel them, acknowledge, and honor them, and release them when complete.
“Saturate your thinking with contemplation of healing, with thoughts that promote healing, words that show belief in healing, attitudes that indicate you believe in the healing power of God,” Kupferle advised.
Thoughts, words, attitudes—and actions. I began to reinvigorate certain daily practices in support of my healing.
This became my mantra: Mighty currents of God’s healing love flow through me now, renewing and restoring every fiber of my being. I am whole, well, and free.
I would repeat this prayer each day as I lay still on the table for my radiation treatment. While the machine clicked and hummed about me, I was focused on mighty currents of God’s healing love.
In the months before my diagnosis I had been working with my friend Karen Drucker, a New Thought musician, on a healing booklet featuring her lyrics and music, titled The Heart of Healing. I began to play Karen’s music often, letting the songs of healing anchor themselves in my heart.
During a call one day, Karen asked me for an affirmation that I used and said she would write a song from it for my healing journey. A few weeks later, a recording of “Mighty Currents of God’s Healing Love” arrived in my inbox. The gospel-tinged song had been created and produced at home by Karen and her husband. I listened to it as I drove myself to the hospital each afternoon for treatment.
As an “I can take care of myself” kind of guy, this was a practice of opening and allowing others to care for me in inventive ways during lockdown. Porch drop-offs would happen frequently with baked goods, soup, cards, care baskets, and gift cards. Groceries were picked up and delivered and my every need met. Calls and Facebook messages buoyed my spirits regularly.
Walks in Nature
I’ve always loved walking in the woods, and when I felt up to it, I would walk around the Unity Village campus or on the wooded trails. It’s where I find peace and calm. I would sometimes sit in silence by the courtyard fountains or find a bench under the trees in the Myrtle Fillmore Grove.
Another practice that lifted me was always to have fresh flowers in my home. They brightened my day and made me smile. They helped me stay in a mindset of beauty, abundance, and worthiness.
Today I am cancer-free, and Kupferle’s words in “Your Healing Is at Hand” still lift me. These practices still sustain me.
This article is excerpted from the Unity booklet Love, Healing, and Abundance: Bringing Spiritual Wisdom to Life. Also read the companion article by Rev. Mary L. Kupferle, “Your Healing Is at Hand.”